Matt Abrahams

Visualization acts as a mental dress rehearsal that desensitizes the speaker to the environment and audience response.

"Visualization is a really useful technique and you see yourself not just in the moment of speaking, but getting up to the stage, seeing it being well received, thinking about how you step off the stag..."

Lowering the internal standard for 'perfection' reduces cognitive load and allows for better audience connection.

"Strive for connection over perfection by daring to be dull. Just answer the question. Just give the feedback. Just be engaged in the small talk. By doing that, you dial down the volume of self-evaluat..."

Anxiety and excitement share the same physiological response; labeling the arousal as 'excitement' improves performance.

"When you feel those symptoms of anxiety, rather than seeing it as negative, say, 'This is exciting. I get to share my point of view. I get to demonstrate my value.' And in so doing by seeing it as mor..."

The physiological relaxation response is triggered primarily during the exhale, not the inhale.

"I have a rule of thumb, I jokingly call it a rule of lung. You want your exhale to be twice as long as your inhale. So if you take a three count in, even if you sneak in a little extra air as we were..."

A successful toast or tribute follows a structured narrative that connects the speaker to the occasion through a brief, relevant story.

"I have an acronym. It works. It's called WHAT. W-H-A-T. The W stands for why are we here? ... The H is how are you connected to the event? ... The A stands for anecdote. Tell a story or a quick exampl..."

Effective Q&A requires connecting the dots for the audience rather than assuming they understand the significance of your answer.

"I have yet another structure... It's called ADD for adding value. You answer the question cleanly and concisely. You then give an example to reinforce the answer, and then you explain the relevance or..."

Using a logical structure like Problem-Solution-Benefit makes information more digestible and memorable for the brain.

"The structure that almost everybody listening in is familiar with is one that comes from the world of advertising. Most advertisements are set up as problem, solution, benefit. There's some problem in..."

The 'What, So What, Now What' framework provides a universal template for clear, actionable communication.

"I really like is a three-question structure: What? So what? Now what? ... What is your product, your service, your offering, your update, your feedback? ... The so what is why is this important and re..."

Reframing a formal presentation as a conversation or a series of answered questions reduces speaker anxiety and increases engagement.

"You can actually set up a lot of your communication situations, a presentation, a meeting, et cetera, as conversations. ... For example, what would it be like if you were to start a presentation by sa..."

Feedback should be framed as a collaborative problem-solving opportunity rather than a top-down critique.

"There's a more robust structure I talk about in the book called The 4 Is... The first I is information. You're just setting the playing field so the person knows what you're giving the feedback about...."

A meaningful apology focuses on the specific transgression and a commitment to change, rather than just apologizing for the other person's feelings.

"An apology to me, I have a AAA... It's three steps, acknowledge, appreciate, and amends. So I have to acknowledge what I did. ... Then I appreciate. 'I can imagine my doing that made you feel bad...'..."